On Waiting

This needed to wait. My computer, my coffee, my thoughts. I missed a habit of writing. But it needed to wait.  

December was full, not busy, just full. Full of preparation and teaching. Full of nurturing a baby who wasn’t sleeping at night and a child who wasn’t sleeping during the day. Full of wiping noses and tears. Full of hugs and catching up. Full of reading and crafting. Full of celebrating and worshipping. Full of running and recovery. Full of cooking and drinking. And full of many other mundane activities that filled up my calendar and to-do lists but not my brain or my heart.

Unfortunately with all the filling up, some things didn’t get checked off of those lists. My writing was one of them. I missed it. I longed for it. I wrote many a post on my long runs. I made the lists, but I also never filled up an editorial calendar. I think I knew the calendar was already full. And I am okay with full. Not busy, busy is putzy and distracted. Full is intentional. I tried very hard in a month that is often described as “busy” to be intentional about what filled it up. Christmas fills me up and I embrace as much as my heart and time will allow.

So I let the writing wait for me. Interesting that I practiced this waiting during Advent – the season of waiting. During December in the church year, we talk about preparing for Jesus’ birthday and the celebration that comes from this. Waiting can be eager and exciting. But it can also be impatient and anxious. To a little one, most waiting is impatient. We can count down sleeps and hang up calendars and light one more candle each week on the wreath, but the waiting is still exhausting, especially when you long so much for something.

Yet for me, I knew, in this season of my life that is so full, I have to practice the eager waiting. The family needs don’t wait. Their needs are immediate. And while self-care is very important, I have to trust that when life gets full, those parts that I cherish, like creativity, will wait for me. The time and the habit will come back as life allows. Because it is worth the wait.

I love a new year. I pour my heart into Christmas because it means a new year and a new start are right around the corner. My calendar is still full. But with many exciting things not just for my family but for me and this space. I’m glad I waited. When we wait, we ready ourselves for a purpose. I’m ready now to bring some purpose to my writing and creativity. Also, a chilly afternoon with a toasty flat white brewed up for me is the perfect way to get back into writing. Up first a week of looking ahead and looking back. Cheers to waiting and writing in the new year!